At the end of the day, I am usually very ready to get the kids in bed. I am neither a morning or a night person…I’m an 11 am kind of person. Because of this, my tendency is to want to rush the bedtime routine, hurry through the motions, and make a mad dash for the couch. Peace and quiet…the kind of quiet where I’m not wondering what one of the boys is getting into.
My two youngest boys will collapse into sleep within seconds if I can just get them still for a few minutes. However, my oldest, Xander, wants to preface sleep by laying next to me and having conversations. These usually range from “What are we going to do tomorrow?” to crazy hypothetical situations that I have no clue how to respond to. It generally requires alot of patience for me to lay there and chat, especially when I’ve been talking all day and desperately want a respite.
However, my perspective on these night time conversations changed radically last night. As I snuggled with him, Xander began talking about Easter, and it quickly turned to the real meaning of Easter and Jesus. Over the next half an hour we talked about why Jesus died on the cross, how that impacts our lives today, and the hope that we can have when we die. He continued to ask questions surrounding Jesus, which led into a short discussion about the time when Jesus comes back. Xander remained engaged in the conversation for quite a while, and then, as quickly as the conversation started, he seemed satisfied, rolled over, and said, “OK, Mommy, I want to go to sleep now.”
These are the moments we live for.
These are the talks I’ve dreamed of having with each of my boys since they were born.
These questions are proof that God is pursuing Xander’s heart, and Xander is responding.
When I left his room last night, I was consciously aware of how silly I had been for rushing bedtime in the past. Evening is the time when Xander really opens up his heart, and I need to take advantage of those sweet minutes, even when I’m exhausted. Talking to me at night while snuggling provides closure to the day for Xander, and helps him process what he’s experienced and taken in during the daylight hours. If I fail to respond to him and help him find closure, and direct it to Jesus, I’m doing him a great disservice.
Thanks you, Jesus, for pursing my beloved boys from a tender age, just as you pursued me….
Seeking to fully live,