2012 January — Discovering Jubilee

The Contemplative Life for Young Moms

January 30, 2012 By JulieBastuk 1 Comment

A few days ago a good friend of mine and I had a long phone conversation where we discussed, among other things, the idea of contemplation in our lives as a way to draw closer to Jesus. Since that talk, I’ve been thinking alot about the subject, and what specifically the contemplative life would look like for a young mom with kids.

Seriously, it’s hard to get anything done without interruptions, sometimes many interruptions. Then, when we find time to sit still and contemplate, we tend to doze off just because we’ve been running around all day.

So here’s what contemplation in my day currently looks like: (italicized words are my thoughts)

Me: “Jesus.”

Child: ”Mommy, I pooped on the floor!”

I address issue, and back to contemplation.

Me. “Jesus.”

Child: ”Mommy, can I have a snack?”

I address issue and back to contemplation.

Me: “Jesus.”

Child: (screaming about something and snot everywhere.)

I address issue and back to contemplation.

Me: “Jesus.”

Child: ”Mommy, the dog is on the table!”

I address issue and back to contemplation.

Me: “Jesus.”

Child: (screaming between 2 or more of the boys).

I address issue and back to contemplation.

Basically, you get the idea. It seems like during the time that my children are awake, it’s one thing after another. My two older boys have dropped their naps, and making them even do a quiet time is getting to be a real struggle. How in the world, I think, is it possible for me to develop a deeper prayer life in areas such as contemplation? I never seem to have time to get past the name Jesus.

Or, what if the name Jesus is the most important part of what happens in my day…the constant re-centering that occurs when I redirect my thoughts from the chaos going on around me to the Calm that lives in my spirit?

What are your thoughts? How do you attempt the contemplative life as a mother of little ones?

Seeking to fully live,

Filed Under: Christian Living, Parenting Tagged With: prayer

Kids Flag Page from Family Matters: A Long Overdue Review

January 26, 2012 By JulieBastuk 1 Comment

A long time ago I went to a wonderful blog conference in Harrisburg called Relevant.

OK, so it just feels a really long time ago…it was actually just October of 2010, but alot has happened since then.

While there, Family Matters and Tim Kimmel were giving out free Kids Flag Page sets to bloggers who would try them out and write a review on their blogs. I gladly took one because I can use whatever help people will give me in parenting. I was eager to try it out with my oldest son, but realized I really needed to wait until he was older to be able to use it more effectively.

Well, that time has come, and a couple of weeks ago my 4 and 1/2 year old and I sat down to determine what his Home Country and Adopted Country are.

For anyone not familiar with this, the Kids Flag Page is basically a simple personality/temperament test for kids from about 5 to 15ish. Knowing how our kids are wired is so helpful when it comes to parenting them, knowing what motivates and discourages them, and in determining their gifts and talents.

I was really thrilled with this kit. I sat down and read through the instructions provided and part of the short book included by Tim Kimmel. I then went through the test on my own to determine what I thought my son’s top countries would be. Next, I sat Xander down, explained the “game” to him, and let him have at it. Surprisingly, his results were very close to mine, with only slight differences, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that his conclusion was much more accurate than mine.

The Flag Page helped me verify what Xander’s leanings are towards personality, Kimmel’s book provided alot of insight on how to parent a child with this type of personality. Furthermore, even though my other two sons are two young to test yet, based on these resources I can already pretty much narrow down what personality types they are going to fall into, and how I need to steer them as a result.

This tool was simple, easy to understand and use, and I wholeheartedly recommend it to any parent. At the very least, take a look at it and consider how better understanding the type of personality and temperament your children have will be a tremendous help in knowing how to parent them.

Seeking to fully live,

Filed Under: Homeschooling, Kids Stuff, Parenting

What Our Hearts Bind To…

January 25, 2012 By JulieBastuk 2 Comments

Carbon monoxide poisoning is a serious danger during the winter time. Anyone who owns a heater or furnace has been warned to check and make sure that it is working properly. This is because carbon monoxide, which is a byproduct of incomplete combustion, binds much more strongly to iron in hemoglobin molecules (which carry oxygen in blood). In fact, it bonds 200 times more tightly to hemoglobin than oxygen does. The side of effects of exposure to carbon monoxide are depression, memory loss, and confusion. Eventually, too high of concentrations of carbon monoxide will lead to death.

Isn’t this what our hearts are like? Our hearts seem to have a very strong affinity for things that will hurt us. We are attracted to things that are dark and ugly at the core. Even as followers of Jesus, it is so easy to let ourselves stray away from his side and allow other influences slip in….just a little at first, almost undetectable. But, if we don’t catch it quickly, before we know it we can travel far in the direction opposite of what God has for us.

It’s crucial for us to constantly monitor what we allow into our lives. Because of sin, what we need the most doesn’t bind as easily to our hearts…it doesn’t come naturally to us. We have to consistently hand control over to Jesus and ask him what we should allow in….what we watch, who we spend time with, where we go…. A regular maintenance check of our hearts with the Master Mechanic is necessary to make sure we aren’t living an impaired life.

Over the past several months, I’ve allowed Jesus to speak to me about a couple areas of life where my heart was binding to things that weren’t bringing life. At the time, they didn’t seem to be a problem to me, but looking back, I can see how long term they could have been major issues. Having rid those things from myself, I’ve lost some of the “confusion” that comes when your heart binds to the wrong things.

How about you….does your heart need an overhaul, maybe have some strong bonds to unhealthy things broken? Take it to Jesus, and allow him to get the poison out.

Seeking to fully live,

Filed Under: Christian Living, Depression/Anxiety, Healthy Living, Marriage

Content in Your Calling

January 23, 2012 By JulieBastuk 1 Comment

The life of stay at home moms can be really isolated and lonely.

This is especially true when you have little ones that need extra training and discipline before you can really take them on many outings, or just simply because getting little ones out the door can be an exhausting process. Sometimes I’m so tired by the time I get everyone loaded up in the van that I’d rather just stay home.

The isolation and loneliness comes when it’s difficult to meet new people….because you’re never leaving the house.

Or, you feel like you’re taken a hiatus from being a productive member of society, and the best you seem to be able to do for public service is to throw away stray paper towels in the bathrooms at Walmart.

Ministry seems to be a thing you “used” to do. Now, even taking a meal to someone can be quite the task.

I’ve struggled so much with these things, being the mother of three very young children. It’s easy to be tempted to believe Satan’s lies that I’m not accomplishing anything significant……I mean, does doing loads of laundry really help contribute to world peace?

I recently read some words by Francis de Sales…..”Let us be what we are, and let us be it well.”

The fact is, I’m a mom and a wife, and I have the privilege of staying at home with my children and making a home. This is where God has placed me, and my duty is to do my job well for his glory.

Consider two more statements by de Sales:

“God does not regard his servants according to the dignity of the office they exercise….”

and…

“The means of gaining perfection are various according to the variety of vocations; religious, widowed, and married persons must all seek after this perfection, but not all by the same means.”

According to Gary Thomas, author of Sacred Marriage, ”Francis accepted the presupposition that becoming a more mature person is just as honoring to God as is doing the right things.”

Do we seek to become mature in Christ as we raise our families and serve our husbands, or are we impatiently waiting for that time down the road when we have the “freedom” to get back into the world and do “real” ministry?

I fall prey to this temptation frequently, but then Jesus comes and gently reminds me that I’m where I need to be, and that he can be glorified, and I can find peace and joy right where I am. Doing the dishes again can be a fragrant offering to him. Picking up after the boys for the countless time is a service to Jesus. Each of these tasks I have each day, if done to glorify God, are just as important as any other great thing done for Him.

Most importantly, Jesus makes himself just as available to each of us who live in relative obscurity, serving our families, as he does to those who do great things for Him in the presence of many.

Be blessed today, as you serve Jesus in whatever place he has you.

Seeking to fully live,

Filed Under: Christian Living, Homemaking, Marriage, Parenting

Taking Some of the Emotion Out of Home Buying

January 20, 2012 By JulieBastuk 2 Comments

In the almost seven years that Mike and I have been married, we have purchased three houses, and almost a fourth one. My husband and I have very opposite personalities, and certainly approach finances and home buying differently.

The first two houses we bought were very much emotional buys. Right before we were married, we bought a condo in a newly built complex over the course of a weekend…we decided to do it based on the encouragement of a friend who introduced us to the condominiums, planned to buy himself, and then backed out later. Looking back, this purchase worked out well for us, but we only lived there for six months before moving to Colorado, so we hardly had time to discover any major issues.

We bought our house in Colorado on a job hunt where we came prepared with a list of houses we wanted to look at in our price range. However, while we were out there, a house came on the market that our realtor encouraged us to check out. I walked in and it was infatuation at first sight. The house was big, bright, and open with a bridge staircase and view of the foothills of the Rockies. What could be better?

As it turned out, our house was less than an optimal choice for us. We grew irritated with the layout of the main level, and there was little room to grow in as a family. Besides that, our utilities ended up being ridiculous….we lived in an area where we had to pay $70 a month just to have water, and then we paid for the water we used on top of that! We succumbed to pressure from our realtor to make an offer; she advised us that the house wouldn’t last long on the market, and so we jumped without doing all of our homework.

While the house in Colorado was a good house, we could have done better, and saved alot of money. I caved and conceded to my husband that I had pushed him into buying because of my emotions and him wanting to please me. The next time we were to buy a house, I totally let his engineer “I love spreadsheets!” mind rule, and we made a much better decision.

What Mike came up with was a spreadsheet that scored each house we were interested in on objective factors, as well as a bit of emotion. Each of the factors was weighted differently depending on how necessary that point was. For example, we knew we needed at least a 2 car garage, so that weighed more heavily than certain other factors. The spreadsheet included all the nitty gritty facts about the house, such as price, taxes, age, etc., as well as features such as bedrooms, garage size, property size, office space, etc.

While this method took a lot of time, it was well worth it, and when we moved back to Indiana in 2008, we ended up purchasing the house that scored #1 on our list of 100 or so houses. It turned out to be a very good house for us, and gave us plenty of space and flexibility as our family grew.

We continued to use this spreadsheet when we contemplated buying a second home in Vermont, and again when we purchased our house in New York. While the top ranking house on the spreadsheet isn’t always “the” house, the spreadsheet really helps narrow down options, and helps us make realistic decisions instead of being swayed by things such as “wow, this house sure is pretty!”

Here is a very simple version of our spreadsheet, where each category isn’t scored, but where Mike and I gave each house a score out of 1 to 3, with score totals at the bottom. The houses with the lowest score in this particular spreadsheet are the ones that we agreed on the most.

Vermont houses

For a more specific spreadsheet, number values can be applied to each category to help the house score itself. Here’s a simple example where I tweaked the earlier spreadsheet.

Vermont houses 2

For the second spreadsheet, I scored the tax amount, the year the house was built, the number of bedrooms, and the garage size. I set criteria for each for good, OK, and bad scores…for example, if the house was built before 1950, it received a 5 for being bad. If it was between 1950 and 2000, it received a 3 for being mediocre. If it was built since 2000, it received a 1 for being good. As a result when all of my scores were added, the house that received the lowest score was the one that was most likely the closest to what we were looking for.

This spreadsheet can obviously be expanded to include whatever is important to the home buyer, and as I mentioned before, the values can be weighted according to importance. So, for example, if the garage is important, but not as important as the other factors, I can put a formula into the cells that accounts for this, such as causing the score entered to be multiplied by a factor of 0.5. This would decrease the effect it had on the overall score as compared to the other factors, but it would still be considered in.

I hope this post wasn’t terribly obtuse and is helpful to anyone who is buying a house or is looking to do so. If any of my spreadsheets, or the whole process, need some explanation, feel free to contact me!

Seeking to fully live,

Filed Under: Homemaking, Marriage

Bibs Are For Girls!

January 18, 2012 By JulieBastuk 1 Comment

In my house, meal time is messy! With three boys under five, food ends up all over the table, the floor, and all over the boys themselves.

As a result of the food diaspora away from plates on our table, our kids’ clothes receive alot of attack, especially in the case of our middle son, who is almost three. Our youngest is not going to be getting many hand-me-downs from him, because his clothes are just too stained to deal with a second time around.

I’ve never seen girl be this messy. We have several sets of friends with toddler and preschool girls, and they have never made the same caliber of messes while eating that my boys have. When they do miss their mouths on occasion, a simple bib will suffice in saving their outfits. Not so with my kiddos….if anything, when the bibs are taken off there is simply a small area on the shirt’s chest area that is clean, while the collar and sleeves are spotted, smeared, and/or soaked in sauces and crumbs.

For the longest time I gave up on buying the boys white shirt and khaki or light colored pants, because it was pointless. There’s a point at which even Oxiclean can’t cut it any longer.

Then one day, I got smart and dressed my oldest in his art smock to eat. Why didn’t I think of that before? Now, his entire front, arms, and lap were covered from the would-be food assailants. The smock was light weight, durable, and washable. Only problem was, at over $10 a pop, I drug my feet in going to buy two more.

On a recent trip to IKEA, I was finally able to get what I wanted. IKEA came out with smocks almost identical to the Crayola art smock I already owned, but they were a steal at 2 for $5. You can’t get fancy bibs at Babies R Us or Buy Buy Baby for that price!

KLADD PRICKAR

Bib

$4.99/2 pack

Now, if I can just keep track of the darn things and have them handy when I need them, I’ll be doing good! :)

Seeking to fully live,

Filed Under: Gadgets and Gear, Homemaking, Kids Stuff, Uncategorized

Homemade Yogurt – 2 Method Comparison

January 16, 2012 By JulieBastuk 3 Comments

This post is late in coming to those I promised it to, but better late than never, right?

I finally launched out and decided to tackle making homemade yogurt on my own. My household goes through so much yogurt every week that it seems more practical to make it, and the homemade stuff is free of all the preservatives and artificial colors/flavorings.

I’ve tried two different ways of yogurt making, and will give my conclusion at the end.

Making yogurt in a Crockpot

Making yogurt in a crockpot is a nice, one pot process. The fewer dishes I have to wash, the happier I am. So, here are the steps I followed:

1. Heat 1/2 gal of milk ( I used 2%) in the crockpot on high for 1.5 hours. (My crockpot has a 4 and 6 hour high setting, and I went with 6). Basically, you want to heat your milk to 180 degrees.

2. Turn off the crockpot and let it cool for 1.5 hours.

3. Take a cup of the cooler milk and mix in a cup of plain yogurt from the store (I used Fage greek yogurt).

4. Dump milk/yogurt mix back into crockpot and stir until combined.

5. Put lid back on crockpot and cover with thick towel or beach towel for 8-10 hours.

6. Refrigerate.

(There are several crockpot yogurt recipes on the web that go into greater detail than I do if you do a Google search).

Making yogurt in a Yogurt Maker

I asked my hubby to get me a yogurt maker for Christmas, and I woke up Christmas morning to a Yogourmet Multi yogurt maker.

1. I took 1/2 gal of milk and heated it in a sauce pan until it registered 180 degrees, measured with a thermometer. I had to stir it constantly to keep the milk from scalding.

2. Once the desired temp was reached, I turned off the heat and let the milk cool to 42 degrees C.

3. I filled my outer yogurt maker canister with lukewarm water to the 250 mL mark.

4. I took 2 pkg of the freeze dried yogurt starter that came with the yogurt maker kit and mixed it with several tablespoons of the cooled milk. I then mixed it in with the bulk of the milk, and about 1/2 cup of powdered milk, and poured that into the inner canister of the yogurt maker.

5. I put the lids on the yogurt maker canisters and plugged the yogurt maker in. Four hours later, I took the inner canister and refrigerated it overnight.

The Results?

The Yogourmet yogurt maker hands down made thicker yogurt, but the taste of yogurt from the yogurt maker and the crockpot were basically the same.

Advantages to using the crockpot: The crockpot really was basically a one dish process, as well as super simple. I just mixed things up and came back to check on it every couple of hours.

Disadvantages: The temperature wasn’t super controlled using the crockpot, and if I’d used a thermometer to monitor changes, it would have taken a really long time, especially in the initial heating of the milk. Finally, the beach towel isn’t as good of an insulator as the water in the outer canister of the yogurt maker.

Advantages to using the yogurt maker: The yogurt maker controls the cool down process of the yogurt, which is really important. The canister the yogurt is made in stores well and the refrigerator and is dishwasher safe. Finally, the yogurt’s consistency came out superior to that made in the crockpot.

Disadvantages:Not a one pot wonder- milk has to be heated in a saucepan and then transferred to the yogurt maker canister. Since milk heats up so much more quickly on the stove than in the crockpot, the initial preparation requires constant care and observance of temperature.

Conclusion:

For the price of a yogurt maker (well reviewed makers can be purchased from $30 to $60) and the consistency of the resulting yogurt, the electric yogurt maker was totally worth getting. The crockpot method wasn’t bad, but it’s just more time consuming trying to monitor temperature, as well as adequately control the cool down step.

I’m curious to hear other people’s opinions on yogurt making and what has worked for you!

Seeking to fully live,

Filed Under: Uncategorized

I HEART New York!

January 13, 2012 By JulieBastuk 1 Comment

We’ve officially been residents of New York state for a little over a month now, and despite the absolute craziness of trying to set up a new house with three little guys underfoot, I love it here!

Someone told me not that long ago that when God wants you somewhere, he’ll pack your bags for you. Boy, did he do it for us this time! So many aspects of our move were definite “God-things”, from so many details of my hubby’s new job, to our house selling, to us actually agreeing on a house to buy, to finding a great church our first Sunday here, to being welcomed so warmly by people in the community…..the list could go on and on!

Beyond everything just falling into place for us, this move has really made clear God’s affection for us. A couple years ago, Mike and I visited Vermont for the first time and fell in love with it. Since then, we’ve been conspiring on how to move there, with little prospects in site. Finally this past summer, we were prepared to buy a house near one of Vermont’s ski resorts to use as a second home, paying off the mortgage by using it as a vacation rental. We found a great house, made an offer, and….EVERYTHING fell apart in something that should have been a pretty solid deal. We were bewildered. We then found a second great house and were strongly considering making an offer, and we couldn’t get a decent response of any kind from the sellers, even though our realtor pestered them regularly for us.

At the time, we were certainly frustrated, not understanding why it wasn’t working out. Little did we know, that God in the very near future, was going to basically pull an awesome job out of his hat that would bring us super close to Vermont, in an area of New York that we really love. We are now within a short drive of our favorite places in Vermont, as well as being many hours closer to my best friend who lives in Boston. As time passes here, what seemed to be “the next best thing” has proven to be the best thing after all!

Our move to New York, though stressful and tiring, has God’s fingerprints all over it. I’m so much more encouraged to trust him, to not despair when our “great plans” fall through and we can’t initially understand why. God’s plans to bless are always so much better than what we can dream up!

Seeking to fully live,

Filed Under: Christian Living, Uncategorized

Validating the Way You Connect With God

January 11, 2012 By JulieBastuk 1 Comment

You really need to sit down at a designated time each day and have a structured Bible study and prayer time, a “quiet time”….Really?

Oops, well, I didn’t get that done today, or yesterday….not sure how many times in the last couple of months that exact thing has happened. Anyone else with me?

Okay, so in reality I”m not really that worried about it, because despite my lack of “structure”, I have connected with God in really meaningful ways, and it could be that despite the guilt you’re feeling over not having your daily quiet time at exactly 7 am with a half hour of Bible study and hour of “prayer” that you’re pretty connected with him too.

Have you ever noticed that the people that write books about quiet time and Bible study are the people with personality types that really appreciate and foster that kind of structure? ESTJs and ESTPs seem to write alot of material along these lines. People like me, INFJs and INFPs, seem to write more books resembling Blue Like Jazz, those seemingly obtuse and abstract texts that can be life changing to some and absolutely nebulous to others. (Check out the Myers-Briggs personality assessment if you have no idea what I’m referring to.)

Fact is, I used to feel horribly guilty over the fact that I seemed to really connect with God throughout the day in ways other than a structured quiet time and Bible study. I can certainly get alot out of Bible study, and God speaks to me through it, but some of the times where I’ve felt closest to Him is when I’m driving down the road with the kids yelling in the backseat, listening to worship music. Sometimes while watching a movie, God will take a theme and really drive home a point to me. (Yes, truth can be found in secular movies. :) ). Finally, some of the sweetest times I’ve heard from God is when he directs me, by “coincidence” to a book that I needed to read at just that time with the answers I was seeking to certain questions.

It wasn’t until I started seeing a marriage and family therapist who has a wonderful relationship with Jesus did I start realizing that my way of connecting with God is just as valid and rich as the person who can sit in silence for hours studying and praying. She encouraged me that because God made our personalities in such a varied way, we can’t expect to all relate to him in exactly the same way.

This revelation has been liberating to me, and I can finally believe that my relationship with God is as authentic as that of the person who faithfully gets up and spends time with God in exactly the same place and at the same time each day. It has also freed me from the tendency to judge so much. In the past it used to drive me absolutely nuts when the worship on a Sunday at church seemed so amazing to me and Spirit-filled, while my husband would be indifferent about it. It’s not that he was being less spiritual than me….he usually got alot out of the sermons in a way that I didn’t always. God was simply reaching out to us differently through our different personalities.

So, if you’ve struggled with something similar, be encouraged. Having specific quiet time with the Lord is important, but don’t load yourself with guilt if your nature fights against the rigid structure of devotions that works well for some, but not all. Find the ways your feel closest to God, and hear his voice….broaden and deepen those areas of your life, and rejoice in the personality that God gave you, thanking Him for all the sweet, personal ways he reveals himself to you.

Seeking to fully live,

Filed Under: Bible Study, Christian Living